johnny depp: good. stephen king: usually good. strange rednecks with hats: good for a laugh. a combination of all three: meh. “meh” is a term that i used throughout this entire film. you feel like the movie is leading up to a climactic culmination of all your fears and predictions, yet all you are left with is a rather tame psychological thriller and a stale aftertaste of cheese.

i don’t like very many stephen king books-turned-movies. in the past, i’ve liked it, sleepers, and his revised version of the shining (starring steven weber). secret window borrowed elements from a lot of other king novels — the more glaring allusion is from the original version of the shining (i.e., “all work and no play makes jack a dull boy”).

johnny depp turns in a great performance, but i’m left with a feeling of “so what?” at the end of the movie. the story was mildly original, but i called the ending forty-five minutes into it — and i’m definitely not the sharpest knife in the kitchen. i have to admit, though; johnny makes ragged bleached blonde hair and coke-bottle glasses look hot. however, you shouldn’t have to force yourself to like a movie just beacuse johnny depp looks good in it.