i’m probably going to get rotten tomatoes thrown at me for this one, but i did not enjoy the girl next door as much as everyone else. sure, it had its moments of hilarity — no, too generous… passable funniness — but overall it was corny and half-baked.

elisha cuthbert is one hot chica, i’ll give the movie that. girls like her and keira knightley make me want to switch my sexual orientation. emile hirsch, on the other hand, makes me want to lose my lunch. this is another actor pair-up that does not make sense to me — i just didn’t buy it. his loser friends, ren and stimpy, as i like to call them, added nothing to the plot except the word “dude” too many times to be considered cute. the three male friends, or the “tripod”, all looked thirteen years old to me, while elisha looked twenty-five. i’m sure this was all some elaborate scheme to show how much she’s aged because of the porn biz, but (again) i just didn’t buy it.

a semi-neat thing about this movie is the appearance of sung hi lee, an asian pornstar i’d only heard about through drooling male acquaintances in high school. it was nice to finally put an ass to a name.

the girl next door provides audiences with an unconventional, interesting story (and ending) but fails to provide anything equally unique in its less-than-talented cast and american pie-esque humour.